Ever since my childhood I was the easily bullied little person. I still am. I fear all the time that my life smoothness might be interrupted just because as a kid and a teenager I grew up in a steadily unpredictable environment of loud mood swings. My family was and still is a bunch of loud people, caring too much for each other and bugging too much on each other’s business. All my life I’ve been feeling that I had been holding and protecting a very fragile “egg” in my hands: the serenity of my soul. For me it’s the utmost gift to be able to maintain one’s serenity and throughout my life I’ve had people trying hard to break it, not intentionally, I am sure, just because they couldn’t see my own struggle to keep away from fuss. And the more I feared that “egg” would break, the more I would find myself into situations where others would challenge my ability to protect it.

So, fear, had almost always been there. Sometimes, more often than not, I would end up fearing my fear itself! Only a few times in my life have I actually achieved to crunch fear, and I’ve been very proud of it. And these few times I proved myself that fear isn’t all that fierce.  And it was quite ironic that this would happen at urgent and intense situations. Could it be my flight or fight instinct that brought out bravery out of me? I should hope so.

Both of my pregnancies and births had been such an occasion, where I proved myself wrong for my self-image. I wasn’t a coward, quite the opposite so. I was proud to have found the courage to stand up for myself and my baby and fight whatever status of fear society and people from my surrounding were trying to impose. And that is exactly my point: We are raised to be patient, obedient, neglecting towards our needs to meet others’ needs, the balancing power, the quiet force… Where it comes to birthing and child rearing we are bombarded with scary information and horror stories. Everybody around us tries to take over something that they eventually cannot: it is instinctive and we’re the only ones who know how to do it for our own bodies and babies.

Fear is there, all around us and unfortunately, as women of this society and time,  it is our prime duty to break it and set an example for the future generations. Of course this does not apply only to women, I’m just focusing on women to make a point about motherhood here. As generations evolve, each generation is overprotected and bullied by the previous one. The average age of taking over responsibilities, is an ever growing number and with the financial crisis all around young people are too reluctant to break free from the family womb. There are no jobs, there are not enough finances for a young person to flee from the family home, there is more and more fear.

I guess this is a rare occasion where we do need to take more action. It seems odd but this is the time to stand up and go against fear. Try to be as independent as possible from old norms, too many consumer goods, too many “needs”. We don’t need constant confirmation that our instincts are right, we do not “need” experts in areas where we’re supposed to listen to ourselves and if there are out there, they should only be there to REMIND us of what is natural, pure and only in the case of something going wrong should we allow them to take over and guide us.

All in all life challenges us, under the worst circumstances to take a stand and claim our serenity, self-confidence and determination back. That’s the good out of the bad, let’s grab the opportunity and make the change. From many personal changes, change will ultimately come to the world.  I’m hopeful.


I loved this picture I found through a friend. It is so true!!!